Only for his GLORY.

"I am laid down in the dust ;

preserve my life according to your word. I recounted my ways and you answered me ; teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your word.

Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth ; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statues,

O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands. "

~Psalm 119 : 25-32.

This Psalm is the cry of my heart the past few days. The very opening line has struck my heart, and resounds throughout my body. My life and all the "good" ideas, and plans that I could make up are laid down in the dust. Aware that some of them may be from God, I would rather them be in no other HANDS then the maker of the universe, who is enthroned on my heart and is so FAITHFUL to give them back to me…for his glory and his glory alone.

My selfishness has risen to the surface, along with pride and all the value of having a good reputation in the eyes of others, and the building up of my name….only to make myself feel better….Something inside of me screams! And says how dare me! How dare I live a life, only to puff up myself!

Then a deep cry from deep within my heart exclaims : "It is for HIS GLORY! That the lamb WOULD receive the reward of his suffering! ALL FOR HIS NAME! ONLY FOR HIS NAME! "

Nothing else matters now, and nothing else can stand in light of who Jesus is! This man who I am living for…..who humbled himself, took on MY SIN and said all for my father's glory, I love you Lauren enough to die for you. That you would know the father, that I would rule and reign on the throne of your heart… Because I am coming to rule and to reign again!

ahhh!

He is coming! He is coming! Will I be ready? Will oil be in my lamp? Will I even recognize the bridegroom….!?

I must have Jesus…. I MUST have him.

I can no longer hold onto religious formulas and patterns, and grumble in my puddle of distress and petti circumstances, when all that is happening is things aren't going MY way…..there just isn't TIME to be held back and bound by LIES from Satan!

UUUGHhh. Jesus!